I have always been a big animal lover. As soon as I moved from an apartment to a house, I welcomed my first cat. Through the years my house has been a home for many cats and dogs in need. Some were in the twilight of their animal life and only stayed with me for a brief time while others were abandoned early on in their life, came to live with me when they were young and are still curled up next to me as I type.
When a new member joined the crew there was only a short period of acclimation before everything settled. Sure, Jace, the ginger cat, has never quite appreciated the enthusiasm of Charlie the pug but overall everyone was happy and healthy.
The beginning of this year was really rough on me. I felt lost and unsatisfied in life. I was searching for answers and it was accompanied with an anxiety that was overpowering. I was suddenly questioning everything in my life and secretly began to feel trapped caring for my fur babies. I still loved them the same but I felt like picking up and moving to another country. Escaping. Running away. But I couldn't because I was responsible for them.
Soon after having this very unusual resentment, the cats got sick. Vomiting after eating. I took them to the vet to be treated and the vet decided they must have gotten into something. A month later Huxley, the most mischievous cat of the crew, started gagging and when I went to investigate I pulled a needle and thread out of his throat (that was left were I thought was a very safe place). After a midnight trip to the vet, it was determined Huxley was going to be fine, as it looked like I was able to pull out all of the thread.
A month later my best friend and I went on an evening walk with Charlie the pug. We decided the moon looked lovely and walked down a street we don't often walk down to have a better view. Soon after, Charlie was in the mouth of a much bigger dog being violently shook like a limp stuffed animal. The owner of the other dog was able to tackle his dog, who had pulled out of his collar, and put him in a choke hold. I followed my instincts and pressed on the dogs eyes until Charlie was dropped. Another midnight trip to the vet. But he recovered fine.
More recently it was discovered that Charlie has an ulcer on his eye. He is currently sleeping next to me with a sewn shut third eyelid and a cone to prevent scratching. My intuition is telling me this is more than merely bad luck.
Other than regular check ups and for the ailments of the elderly adoptions, vet visits had been scarce before this. Now I have had four vet emergency this year.
How had I been so lucky for so many years before this? Why was I suddenly at the vets office every month? What is the universe trying to tell me? Or....what have I been telling it?
I am now wondering if there is a correlation between my own subconscious thoughts/feelings and the health of the animals.
Did my resentment of not being able to escape and start over manifest itself as illness and discontent in my pets? Is this a response to the energy I was putting out to the universe? I had the subconscious thought that my animals were a burden, so they became a burden. I didn't consciously treat them any differently, my relationship with them remained the same. Cuddles every day and through the night. I didn't actually have any intention of ever leaving them, but I now wonder is that negative energy was still there lurking in the background.
You don't get what you want in life, you get the energy you put out into the universe returned to you.
This was a harsh lesson I need to learn. Having my animals suffer is a salient cue for me that I can't ignore. I love my animal crew with all my heart and am now aware of the impact my own thoughts and emotions may have on them. It is a sobering reminder of the influence my thoughts and emotions have on others. The good news is that my positive emotions are even more powerful then my negative ones and I am now sending nothing but love and healing energy towards my furry family.
What do you think? Coincidence or subconscious? Let me know in the comments. And say a little prayer for my pug Charlie's eye recovery. I am going to bed every night thinking about him healthy and cone free. Using the laws of the universe to help him have a speedy recovery.