I have been on this spiritual journey since a very dark day in December. I attribute the teachings of Eckhart Tolle to my being able to dig myself out of a deep hole. Learning about the ego and the pain body changed my life. But living in the now is hard. At least it is for me. I am trying to reprogram years and years of a mindset that believes worrying about something will make me more prepared. So while Eckhart helped me climb out of the hole, I needed to find something that would help me with the re-programming of my mind.
Searching on the spiritual side of the self-help section I mostly found the same ideas stated different ways (which I think is beautiful, as I myself have found that something presented in an alternative way will resonate with me differently). But it left wanting more structure. I started hearing about the life coach master Brooke Castillo. I found her book Self Coaching 101 and read through it in a day. Now it wasn't an ah ha moment for me with Brooke. It was more of a duh moment. Her coaching is based on a model she created (the CTFAR model) and when I heard it I wasn't too wowed. The basic premise of the model is this: Our thoughts create our feelings which influence our actions and therefore our results. I was like well duh. But to know and to do are very different things. It wasn't until I started using the model that the magic started happening.
I started practicing the model. Everyday I would spend a few minutes on a thought download. Simply putting pencil to paper and writing down whatever I was thinking. The good, the bad, the mundane and the terrifying, without judgement. After the download, I would pick just one thought and work it into the model. Here is an very basic example. You can start by filling in any part of the Model, I usually start with a thought or a feeling, then fill in the rest.
Circumstance: I have things I need to do but don't want to.
Thought: I am lazy today
Action: Non-Action, (I watch Netflix)
Result: I get no results
This proves the original thought. I get no results because I am lazy.
If the thought I was working on was one with results I did not like I would change the thought and re-work the model
T: I want to accomplish something today
A: Action (I start checking off my To-do list)
R: I get results (I get more done, with less resistance)
Start with thoughts or emotions that don't bring you a lot of inner turmoil. Work your way up. One piece of advice is that the new thought has to be something you believe. Sometimes you have to take baby steps. For instance if the original thought is "I hate my body", Brooke suggests you start with "I have a body" as your new thought and you incrementally make the thought more positive from there.
Now practicing this daily didn't do much to improve the thoughts I worked on. I might feel a little better and then forget about the new thought as I carried on with my day. It wasn't until I was really upset that I found all the practice worth it.
When I get very upset with something or someone it annoys me to practice the Model. I am sure it can't possibly help either because the model is stupid or I won't do it correctly. Either way, when I'm upset, it's the last thing I want to do. But usually when you feel that resistance to doing the work, it means it's the best time to do it. And low and behold it works every time. I'm not saying it's immediate or complete relief but it gives me enough of a reprieve to break the negative loop. Now, I'm no expert on Brooke's Model and I'm still practicing but I have found it very helpful on my journey. To find out more about the Model check out the thelifecoachschool.com and be sure to listen to Brooke's podcast The Life Coach School with Brooke Castillo. But remember, it is one thing to learn these types of tools but you will not see any sort of significant results in your life until you actually start practicing what you have learned. Good luck and let me know if the model works for you!