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Meditation is stressful

I started my wellness/spiritual journey with mindfulness meditation. I used guided audio meditation that had me perform body scans. You begin concentrating on the sensations in your feet. Feeling their aliveness. Then slowly move up until you have scanned your entire body. I tried morning meditation, midday meditation and evening meditation. The first and final often ending in a mini snooze. Oops. 

I understand it is called a meditation practice for a reason.
It takes practice. It also takes self-compassion, something I am still trying to level up on. Every time I meditate and I have trouble gently letting my thoughts go without judgement, I feel like a little bit of a failure. I'm not even just talking about painful or anxious thoughts, I'm talking about "Did I leave the meat on the counter? The cats are going to get into it" kind of thoughts too. And like a lot of things in life, without any instant gratification I don't find the practice very rewarding, so I often find myself getting those extra 15 minutes of sleep instead of getting my butt up and trying again.

While reading through The Law of Attraction: The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham I came across something called a "creative workshop". 15 minutes a day spent in a quite place, reflecting on intentions and what you would like to attract into your life. This sounds promising. Focusing on positive thought instead of focusing on breathing or body sensation.

The first step involves how you enter your creative workshop. You must be in a happy state of mind. That sounds a little daunting for me still. If I could just produce a genuine happy mindset on the spot, I wouldn't be on this journey. The book suggests listening to music or spending time with pets in order to beef up the happiness vibration. Ok, I got this, some cuddles with the cat usually cheers me up. Now during your creative workshop you are to think about what it is you want to attract. This work begins long before you enter your workshop. You are to keep an eye out during your day for things that you would like to experience. You see a confident person? Bring it into the workshop. You see a cute pair of shoes? Bring it into the workshop. You see a cute get the picture. You are essentially spending your day collecting data that you will use in your workshop to set your intentions and attract what you want into your life.

Now, I don't necessarily think that 15 minutes a day of me thinking about a Balenciaga purse will have it show up on my doorstep. But keeping my eyes open all day for things that excite and inspire me seems like a good way to figure out what I want in life and set my intention on it. Wish me luck!


  1. Hey, nice commentary on your experiences; keep it up! All meditators go through the initial "struggle" of navigating to find the inner definition of mindfulness or meditation practice. After 7+ years, I occasionally get lost in my mind or the sleepiness of fatigue. Luckily it's normal and every time we become self-aware of our attention slipping, we slowly make progress (albeit a snail's pace it may seem).

    1. Thanks for the support Kyle! I actually had an amazing meditation yesterday morning. It felt both energizing and relaxing at the same time! It was enough to keep me practicing! Thanks again!


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